Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Useless Information!
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without it s head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
=0) (I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that , too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Monday, March 23, 2009
Something to laugh at.....
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
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Home Sweet Home
Stay tuned...........
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Spring Break Part 1
More to come......................
Monday, March 16, 2009
Weekly Recap
So we are off to have some fun this week. Today we have just been hanging out and relaxing. All the girls need some running around and playtime. Tonight we are BBQing, having some drinks, and going to camp out in the hot tub!
Until next time, have a great week!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
More Info on a Ionic Spa Foot Detox
The soles of the feet and armpits are two of the body's discharge pathways for toxins. Since 1980 birth defects have increased 1600% and breast cancer has increased 250%. While we could sit here all day and rattle off percentages, we all know we are living in the most polluted environment in the earth's known history. One of the reasons for such a large increase in cancer, birth defects, and other diseases is due to the increased exposure to petrochemicals, toxins, heavy metals, and other chemicals in the environment and our food. While there is no way to prevent yourself from being exposed to harmful toxins, (without locking yourself in a bubble) there are many ways to help your body rid the toxins that can lead to cancer and other diseases.
1. It's a healthy weight loss for your body. It will increase your metabolism, reactivate the body's fat burning mechanisms, release the fat cells that hold toxins, reduce cellulite and easily maintain the weight that is correct for you.
2. Gives more energy, better state of mind. Think more clearly, feel lighter, and have energy which will boost your well being.
3. Restore and Regain Health. Create a stronger immunity for yourself. Have fewer aches and pains, reduce allergies and flu symptoms, help activate the body's NATURAL intelligence to heal itself.
4. Rid your body of toxins. Eliminate the discomfort of detox, remove heavy metals, chemicals, and toxins easily and comfortably from your body.
5. Receive Relief. Discomfort from sore and aching joints, which are symptoms of arthritis and bursitis.
6. Maintain Good Health. Obtain high energy levels and long term wellness.
7. Unburden Your Body. Herbicides, pesticides, colorings, additives, preservatives, and other untold chemicals that reside our water, food, air.
8. Slow the aging process and look younger. Clear skin, remove rough discolored areas, smoother, dark areas under the eyes, lighten our skins, color & NATURAL beauty will immediately radiate through. The aging of our skin slows and we are able to gain a more youthful appearance.
9. Rejuvenation. Look and feel great, inside and out, beautify skin and hair.
10.Improved sleep and relief from tension. Help your body rest more comfortably and sleep better. Help your body feel relief from tension and stress which the body holds onto.
** There's my thought on this subject for today. Since I've had several people asking about this, I've decided to use the next couple of days to pass more information about this along to those interested. Stay tuned for more info tomorrow.......
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
My Journey with a Foot Detox
Let's rewind here back to October. I've been struggling with losing weight for a little while. I'd take some off and then put it back on. I'm not one who can spend an hour or so everyday in the gym working out. I've tried that before and I have a problem sticking with it. I'd do really well but then, you know, schedules and available time to go starts to become an issue. Walking in the evening seems to be an easier thing to work into my schedule but then the weather was changing and it was becoming cold out. Yes, many will say that this all sounds like an excuse and maybe it all is but with our crazy schedule, it is what it is.
Along with trying to add a weekly workout routine to my schedule, one of the big changes I wanted to really work on making was eating healthier and cleansing my body of unhealthy toxins. I had started to learn a lot about how different a woman's body is and how bad yeast, wheat, and other items are for most women. I started to change my eating habits, cut back on my portion sizes and was walking on the treadmill at least 4 days a week. But I still was not seeing any good solid weight loss.
Enter into the picture - the foot detox. My mom had started having one done once every other week. My mom has made a lot of changes to her eating habits and life style since being diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2001. She was very lucky and it was caught very early. She knows along with others who know my family well know that we have teased my mom over the years. We've called many of her things "hocus pocus" stuff. This whole foot detox thing seemed a little weird to me. I mean come on, how does it work? Somehow by soaking my feet in the tub, it's pulling toxins from my body and cleansing my organs. Sounds pretty strange and like a scam to me. But I let her talk me into going to one.
November 10th, 2008 - My first appointment for a foot detox. I'm thinking, there's no way this is really going to work. This is such a scam! I can't believe I'm going to do this. But let me tell you, boy was I WRONG!! This was the strangest experience I think I've ever had. Once I got there, they gave me a 1 liter bottle of water and told me to start drinking. So I did. Next I was shown where to sit and in this butterfly looking chair, I sat down and took off my socks and shoes. The lady giving these comes out with what I would call a foot bath tub. It looks like one of the home foot tubs that people have to soak their feet in. As I'm drinking my water she tells me to sit back, relax, and put my feet in. The water was warm and I'm thinking, "Ok, I'm going to at least sit back and relax for 45 minutes. I don't get to do that very often!" I bet my feet had been in the water 4 minutes and I hear, "Oh Honey! Your poor body!" I sat up and looked at the water...OMG! In 4 minutes it had changed to an ugly orange color and there were little black pieces floating. I asked "What in the world is that?" She started asking me a lot of different questions about my health, eating habits, and family medical history. Keep in mind, you do not fill out any medical history form and give any back ground about yourself. But let me tell you, just by watching my "tub" and the water, she was able to tell a lot about me, my health, and my body. It was quite scary. The detox continued and 40 minutes later my time was up. Looking down at the tub when I was taking my feet out, I thought, "OMG! This is weird!" I will say I drank all the water which helps your body release toxins. But what was the most strange, my body felt different. During the detox, my feet tingled, my lower back felt like I had someone pushing on it, I became cold since I was having a lot of blood cleansing, my stomach had a butterfly feeling to it. I didn't feel bad or sick but I did feel different and it's hard to describe just what that feeling is like.
So that was it. I was done so I put my socks and shoes on, thanked the lady and left. I was on my way home (a short trip from the store across from South County Mall) when I'm driving down Highway 55 getting ready to exit onto Butler Hill when it hit me! OMG!!!! I had to pee!! It was so strange cause all of a sudden I really had to go! Do I stop at the gas station or can I make 3 minutes until I get home? Gas Station bathroom? GROSS! No thanks, I'll wait 3 minutes. I'm driving down Kerth getting ready to turn into the subdivision and I'm starting to think "I might not make it!" At this point I had to pee so bad it was unbelieveable. I finally make it home after what seemed like forever and RAN into the house into the bathroom. I didn't even close the front door or bathroom door. Finally relief! I made it!!
The rest of my day was spent running in and out of the bathroom. I have never gone to the bathroom that much ever. I was suppose to continue drinking water throughout the day, which I did and it did not help my peeing problem. That night was a night of little sleep. I got up 5 times to pee during the night. It was like being 9 months pregnant all over again. Tuesday came along and I was still peeing more than normal but not as much. But boy did my body feel different. I still to this day have not figured out how to describe it. It didn't hurt, it was just different. I was also still cold. All afternoon, evening, and night Monday I was cold. I was told to expect that since I had a lot of blood cleansing.
My next appointment was scheduled for two weeks later on November 24th. This one was pretty similar to the first one but I had a lot more liver cleansing. The amount of information you are given during the detox is crazy. They tell you so much about what is going on with your body. I had learned from the first one not to schedule anything in the afternoon and evening on the days I have a detox done. The simple task of picking the girls up from school becomes a challenge to see if I can make it 30 minutes away from the bathroom without peeing in my pants. To this day, I have successfully made it! A few close calls, but no wet pants! :)
December was a month off! I was bummed about this but they wanted to take the month off because of the holidays. My next scheduled appointment was on January 13th and I was told to be prepared for a "good one" after the holidays. I'm thinking, "Man, my water has been pretty gross with the first two and I've had a lot of cleansing. It can't get much worse!" I was wrong!
January 13th comes and oh boy! This is by far the worst detox I had!! It was so gross that it got to the point where I stopped watching. The water was nasty and it was full of all kinds of "junk!" I was so surprised at how different each detox has been. This time, while it was by far the most gross looking one, I did not have to pee as much in the 24 hours afterwards but my body really felt this one. It may sound like I'm complaining but I'm really not. It's a good thing you feel it. And like I said, it doesn't hurt, it's just a different feeling your insides have, it's very strange.
I didn't get to do the one in February.....can't remember why but I missed it. So today, March 3rd was my next appointment. I had what they call a "good one." It's in a way clearing up which means my body is not storing the toxins like it was before. My water was still an orange color and I had black stuff floating but it by far was the "cleanest" looking one so far. Besides being tired, I feel really good after this one. I've peed often but not too much. It seems like my body has really adjusted to having the detox done. It that's possible. :)
This posting has turned into a REALLY long one. Who knows if anyone has decided to continue to read to this point. But I am going to call it quits for this posting and save more information for a posting tomorrow. But I will say at this point, I'd strongly encourage everyone to consider having a spa foot detox done. I'll be posting more information about these including the benefits, more about what they do, and more info about things I've changed over the last few months. I've also starting taking minerals and enzymes which I'll share more about later too. These Enzymes though....since I've started taking them, I've lost 10 pounds and I really haven't done much to increase my chances of losing weight.
Anyway, enough for now. Look for more information coming tomorrow! :)
Tips on Tuesday
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
'If God is for us, who can be against us?'
(Romans 8:31)
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Let's recap our week ~ Feb 22nd
~ Our week of February 22nd ~
What a busy week! It's was our first full and real busy week in a long time! Courtney's book report was due last week. She had to do a biography on anyone of her choice. She picked Daniel Boone! Of course she would! Only Courtney!! But I must say, she learned a lot and did an excellent job on her oral report she had to do in front of her class. She got a 100%!!!! We were all so excited for her. Besides the big excited of Aunt Debbie and Grace coming in nothing else too exciting went on.....Kayla lost another tooth Monday evening. But other than that, it was just a busy week with a lot going on. Our weekend was pretty busy too! Tonight, we had dinner with my parents, Aunt Debbie, and Grace (again...these poor girls are going to be lost when Grace goes back home!) but tonight, I had wrapped up each one of the 3 girls a new St. Patrick's Day t-shirt. After dinner we gave it to them and told them that Courtney, Kayla, and I will be driving back to Dallas with Aunt Debbie, Uncle Dave, and Grace and spending spring break there!! They are soooo excited and were so happy! Kayla was so cute. At first she was a little confused about being off school so she had to run upstairs to get her school folder with her March calendar to check the dates out. She comes running back downstairs with her folder yelling "We are available to go then!!! I don't have school that days!!!" She was so excited and told us that was the best surprise ever. She's so damn cute! :)
Another busy week is upon us. This is an typical busy week. On top of all the things I have on the calender, it's National Lutheran Schools Week so the girls have a lot of things going on at school this week. They have special dress up days each day and special events going on each day. everything is written on my calendar so hopefully I don't forget anything! We have the normal soccer practice on Wednesday and a few other things in the evenings this week. It's looking like the weather will be a little warmer this week! I hope so cause I am ready for so warm weather. Especially so the girls can get outside and play. I hate this time of the year when they start to get antsy from being inside so much during the winter. It will be so nice for them to be able to play outside when they come home from school and on weekends. Even though our weekends so pretty busy from here on out. And to think softball games are not even on the calendar yet!!
Until next time, Have a Great Week!