Thursday, July 26, 2012

Is there any respect?

Wow! Here I sit, ready to blog again. Two days in a row. I forgot how much I enjoy this. I can actually type away whatever I want and not worry about someone stopping me. lol!!
Anyway so today I've been thinking.......shocking I know. But here's the deal, recently (within the last 6 months) I've really taken notice to the different parenting styles. I will never claim to have perfect children or know what's right and what is wrong. But there definitely is a lack of parenting out there these days. I'm all for being friends with your kids but there comes a point when you need to put your parent pants on.
Recently the girls and I were at Target. I'm a firm believer in setting the expectation. {knock on wood} I have never had a problem with either one of my girls throwing a fit, crying, or making a scene at a store. One time when Kayla was around 2, she did get upset about not being able to get a stuffed animal. She did start crying in the store but never started throwing a fit or screaming. She got a stern look and was told to stop crying in the store, she was embarrassing the rest of us. She stopped right away. End of issue. Once we got home, she did get a talking to and I explained to her how it was unacceptable for her to cry about a toy in the store. She was told she does not act this way and I will not put up with it happening ever again. Period. To this day, neither one of my girls have had an issue in a store. Don't get me wring, they ask for things but when they are told no they don't throw a fit or make a scene. That would not be tolerated around here. I normally set the expectation before we go shopping. The girls know what they can get ahead of time and have learned to not ask a million times if they can get something. And I will say, it makes a huge difference. My girls are very good about it......most of the time. ;)
Going back to our recent Target trip.......there was this little girl there shopping with her mom. Just the two of them. The mom was older, maybe mid-40's. This little girl had to be around 6. She was hounding her mom about getting this new Barbie. The mom told her daughter, "We're not going to buy that one today but you can pick out one of these that are a little bit cheaper." Boy did this make the little girl mad. She started stomping her feet and yelling "I said I want this one!" "I want this Barbie not those stupid cheap ones." She's yelling this as she is stomping her feet!!!
The mom says "Well, Mommy doesn't want to spend $25 on a Barbie today. These Barbies over here are pretty. You can pick one of them out." With this the little girl throws the Barbie box on the floor and screams "I SAID I WANT THIS ONE! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"
Again, the mom tells the daughter that Barbie was too much money. I'm standing there watching and listening to this in shock. Thinking, if my daughter did this, she would have a black & blue butt, a sore lip, and be missing a lot of toys when we got home.
At this point the daughter picks up the Barbie box and throws it at her mom and yells "If you don't buy this for me, you are the meanest mom ever and I won't like you anymore." Holy sweet Jesus. I could not believe this. I looked at my girls and Kayla is standing there shocked looking at this girl like OMG, you are in trouble.
The mom literally just stands there, "Olivia are we really going to play this game again today?" WAIT!!! WHAT??? This has happened before?? Oh dear Lord lady, get a clue and control your child!!
How do people think it is ok for their child to act like this? Courtney did tell me one day when she was 3 that she thought I was being a "mean mommy" because I wouldn't let her do something. She got a little pop on the month and a talking. NEVER have I ever heard my girls saying anything like that to me. I have NEVER heard they hate me, don't like me, etc. I hear of this type of stuff happening often now. You see it in stores. I'm sure there has been times when my girls have been mad at me about something and probably thought to themselves that I'm mean but it has never came out of their mouths. Nor do I ever want to hear that from them!
I have been told many of times that I am too hard on my girls, I expect too much out of them, I shouldn't expect them to do chores, I put too much responsibility on them. Well, do I? I don't know. I don't think so. I think I have two good girls. Yes they might complain sometimes and I do have to remind them of things but they are kids, pretty normal stuff.
I think it's funny how these people who have accused me of being too hard on my girls have kids that are out of control. There is no structure, no control, no consequences for their actions. I believe children need all of that from day one. As a parent, YOU have to control your child. Now, don't jump down my throat and say kids need to explore and find themselves. Yes, I will agree with that to an extent. But these crazy out of control kids walking around now-a-days is due to parents not having any control!! What happen to kids respecting authority? Respecting their elders? I still address some people as Mr. & Mrs. (whoever) because that is what I did growing up. I knew them as Mr. & Mrs. not on a first name bases. I am guilty of telling the girls friends to call me Mandy or several call me Miss Mandy. I like that. It's a personal choice. Mrs Fritsche is too formal for me and makes me uncomfortable. Why? I don't know. I just don't like it. I feel more relaxed and the kids seem more relaxed. Whether that's true or not, I don't know but it's what I'm comfortable with and it's my choice.
Now, I'm not pointing figures or accusing anyone of "being a bad parent" but the respect or well, actually the lack of respect and attitudes of kids these days.........I'm at a loss for words. I don't understand how a parent thinks it's ok for a child to repeatedly tell their mother or father they don't like them or they hate them or they are the worse (meanest) mom/dad in the world. How is it ok? Everyone is entitled to parent in their own way. I don't agree with things my friends do just as I'm sure there are things I do they don't agree with. And that's ok. Something that works for us may not work for others just as things they do won't work for our family. I guess I just struggle with the no respect side of things. Why are so many parents raising their kids to not respect anyone or anything. Regardless of age, every person whether you are 2 or 92 should respect other people! I don't care if you don't like the other person, they still deserve to be respected as a person.
Well, I guess that's enough of my rant for the day. No certain parenting style is better than another. You have to do what works for your family. Be friends with your kids. Make your home and relationship comfortable enough so your kids are open with you and talk to you. But also be a parent and raise your child(ren) to be respectful. You as a parent will be respected more when you rise a respectable child. :)

~ Until next time, let's all respect this life we've been blessed with.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Freedom of Speech?

So back on the 4th of July I read someone update their status about freedom of speech. Here is what was said "As we celebrate this independence day, a day to celebrate our freedom, I have to wonder. Do we really have the freedoms we think we have? I know I'm opening a can of worms "you people" have "advised" me not to, but damn I'm doing it. I don't care anymore. I'm suppose to have freedom of speech but when I speak my mind, I'm told "that's wrong" or "that's inappropriate" or "you shouldn't say things like that". Wake up people!!!! It's MY opinion!!! Mine. You don't have to agree with me. But that "line I'm not suppose to cross" is being crossed right now. How in the hell is it ok for a school to tell me what I can & can not talk about on MY FB page???!!! Not once have I ever mentioned this schools name, or any teachers, etc. As much as I've wanted to recently, I have not. I have had some respect. But I believe this line they talk about has been crossed by THEM! How dare they try to control MY freedom of speech I'm suppose to have in this beautiful country, the land of the free........" She went on to wish everyone a Happy 4th of July. Her update has had me really thinking over the last several weeks. More so just within the last couple of days.
Everything she said was correct. This freedom of speech has become an issue. We are suppose to be able to speak our mind. However, more often than not when someone speaks up, voices their opinion, defends someone, or partakes in a conversation other people are quickly offended if your opinion is not the same as theirs. I'm so tired of hearing people complain that something or someone offended them. There's times where I want to say, "Stop being so sensitive!!"
I think it boils down to this, people need to stop claiming they are offended because someone doesn't agree with them. We as people need to be more open minded to others. Just because someone doesn't agree with us doesn't mean they are a bad person or they are wrong. They just think differently. And that's ok. There's nothing wrong with that. If we all think alike, life would be pretty boring but just because I think differently than you doesn't mean I'm wrong. Start being respectful of others and stop placing judgement. Stop trying to control others.
As the FB posting mentioned, if I, you, we......whoever is ranting on FB and is not name dropping then regardless of what they are saying, let it be. You don't have to agree, you don't have to comment. Just let it be. I will admit, I am guilty of being frustrated with people who don't agree with me or think the same way I do. But this is something I personally have worked to change the last two years. I have become more open minded, less judgemental, more willing to accept other peoples thoughts and opinions. We also need to be more forgiving. This is something I have struggled with and hope one day to be better at.
So, this posting has kinda been all over the place. Bottom line - let's stop trying to take people's freedom of speech away just because we don't agree with them or like their opinion. Be open minded and respect people. I teach my girls - You don't have to like everyone or be friends with every person you meet in life but you have to respect them as a person. Everyone deserves to be respected.......well, unless you are a crazy psycho killer. :)