Well....what do we have here?

I've been doing a lot of soul searching for the last 2 weeks. 

What's the meaning of life?
Where do I want to go in life?
What do I want to do with my life?

I have found no answers yet.  But I know I need something more.  Something is lacking. 
What is it?  What is missing?  I don't know.  I'm clueless but I need to find some answers.

Life is such a journey.  A wild roller coaster ride.  Highs and lows.  Peaks and valleys.  Whatever you want to call it.  It's crazy but fun.  I'm not sure what I'm missing or what I want answers to but I'm seeking to find out.  Soul searching.  It's a strange feeling.

I remember using this blog a lot.  What brought me back here.  I don't know.  But as I was sitting at my desk trying to accomplish some work, I found myself very distracted.  Unable to focus on the task I needed to accomplish.  And then, here I am.  At this blog again.  Weird how it happened.  I use to love sitting here typing away.  It seems my thoughts moved to Facebook.  That's where everyone went to "be social."  So will did I come back to this blog today?

It's certainly the things that make you go hmmmmmm..........

I think I'll come back here. It's a peaceful place.

Friendships and life.

There comes a time in our life when we start to realize what friendship really means.  There's a time when we think it's a numbers game.  It's all about having a lot of friends.  That's what we think is important.  We have to have a lot of friends to be considered "popular."  As we get older we start to realize it's not all about the numbers.  It's about true friendship.  Real relationships.  Real support.  Real commitment.

I've been blessed to call a lot of people my friend.  I like having lots of friends.  I like having a large circle of friends with all different types of personalities, likes/dislikes, and support.  Along the way I have also lost several friends.  At the time, I questioned why.  I wondered why.  I was hurt or disappointed.  Or learned they were really never a friend.  Sometimes we find out why.  Maybe a certain person was sent to be apart of our life for a certain period of time to help us, teach us something, or even help us learn what a friend is not.  But regardless, it's never easy to lose a "friend" when you thought you/they cared.

Recently I started to realized the life lesson about how it's not about numbers.  It's about quality.  It's about true feelings.  True support.  Actual caring, concern, love.  Friendship is a two way street.  I've done a lot of soul searching recently and discovered many things.

1. Yes, I'm blessed to have a lot of people to call friends.
2. There really is a difference between a friend and a "best" friend.
3. If a friendship requires a "maintenance program", that friendship is not on a 2 way street.
4. Repeated drama kills a friendship.  Especially when it's one sided.

Some of these things may seem pretty simple.  Common sense really.  Many people may read that and think, "well duh!  How old are you and what took you so long to figure that out."  Well, let me just say I am a people pleaser.  I know that.  I don't like drama and I don't like people competing for attention.  I like to keep peace and go with the flow.  However, I have found out, this is not always a good thing and people take advantage of you and your kindness most of the time.

So this is where I have learned, it's not a numbers game.  Let's be honest here, when I've looked at the many friendships and people I call friends, I'm going to go out there a say only 5 of them are truly my best friend.  Friends that I would stop anything and everything for and give them 100% of my focus when they need it.  So, wow!  Only 5.  That seems low to me but at this point in my life, I can say I am really happy with that.  

Over the past year of my life, I have made a lot of changes in my life.  I cleaned out a lot of drama filled people.  I've realized they sucked a lot of energy out of me and required a lot of my time.  I've started to really focus my time and energy on my family and my best friends that I know I can truly depend on.  I still have a lot of friends.  A lot of friends who mean a lot to me.  And I'm still willing to step up and support them but I've made a change in how I support some of these friends.  Sadly, I have cut a few people out completely.  It's been very hard to do that.  But I see the blessing in doing this and I have seen first hand, when one door closes, another door opens.

I firmly believe that saying good-bye to a few friendships has opened the door to new friendships.  It amazes me how I can sit back and learn from past friendships.  Do's and don'ts.  Lessons on what support, love, and concern is.  And how I do have control over how people treat me.  I don't have to put up with people treating me with disrespect.  Just within the last 3 months, I've met several new friends.  They are a great group of women.  So welcoming.  Warm.  Caring.  Fun.  I enjoy spending time with them and getting to know them.  I feel letting go of a few friendships has allowed me to be a better person.  A better friend, mom, wife, and listener.  

I will always be grateful for every friendship in my life.  Even friendships that I no longer have.  I will always care about those people and wish them nothing but the best in life.  Life is full of surprises and we never know when people may cross our path again.  People change.  Friendships can blossom again.  Just make sure it's not toxic to your life.

Have you evaluated the people in your life recently?  Do you have any toxic friendships?  Needy friends who always want but never are willing to give when you need someone or something.  What about the drama filled friend?  Are they draining you?  I highly recommend you take some time.  Do some deep soul searching.  No time frame on this.....whether it takes you 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years.  Do yourself a favor and rid your life of toxic friends.  It will hurt.  It probably won't be easy.  But when you feel that weight lifted and you feel free, it will be worth it.  Open your mind and free your soul.  Life is short.  It should not be spent babysitting grown adults who don't need a baby sitter.

Remember, stress ages us.  So I'll leave you with this, why should we age ourselves due to toxic friendships?  Do you really want to age faster and deal with potential stress related health concerns because we are too afraid of losing or hurting a "friend?"

Think about that..........           

I did it again!

Time totally got away from me.  Again.  It's been four months without a posting.  Why do I let it go that long?  I've said it a million times, "I'm going to stay on top of this!", "I like sitting down and typing away."  Well, whatever.  Here we are again.  We survived mass chaos during the holidays.  Or maybe it was organized chaos.  I don't know but whatever it was, we survived and no one died.  Although there was a point during Christmas were I thought about seriously hurting a person or two.  I didn't.  I continued to take my all natural "stress & tension relaxer" and drank my fair share of wine.
The girls continue to grow, learn, and excel.  I still am amazed everyday at how they are doing in school.  They both made high honor roll for the first semester.  It's amazing!!  They are involved with clubs at school and continue still to be so happy about going to school.  I love it.
So without rambling on and on about too many updates about what's been going on, we'll just leave things at, it's been a great last couple of months.  Things are going well, the girls are great, and I WILL be here more often.  :)

Have a great weekend......

"AWESOME!"

We survived!! I'm so happy to report the girls LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their new schools. I was pretty certain the change was going to go well for them but there was still lots of nervousness about making the switch......at least for me. The first day of school was exciting and long. I think it was the longest day ever. I couldn't wait for the girls to get home and hear about their day. Every thought possible ran through my head all day. I paced the floors waiting. Courtney was the first one home and got off that bus with a HUGE smile on her face!! I asked her how her day was and she responded with "AWESOME!" She talked all night about new friends, the teachers, and the school. Then Kayla came home. She gets off the bus with a HUGE smile on her face too. Her response to asking how her day was "That was great!" At that moment there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was so excited to hear all about their day. And to top it off, they were both super excited about going back!! ;)

Now, here we are a month later into the new schools and life around our house has totally changed in so many ways. It's been AMAZING!! The girls LOVE their schools. They are excited about going to school again, getting awesome grades, have made a ton of new friends, and the most amazing thing of all.....the stress level in this house has dropped BIG TIME!! I can not get over how easy going, laid back, stress-free, and relaxing the mornings and evenings are around here now. It's so wonderful. The girls get themselves ready in the mornings, get their little bits of homework done in the evening, and are keeping up with everything else without me reminding them all the time. They are so happy and relaxed. And the change in homework load has been AWESOME!! The focus on classroom learning and less homework has been an adjustment for all of us but it has been really nice.

We couldn't be happier with where things are at right now. Life is good and all the big changes recently are paying off. Here's to hoping our journey continues to be this fun and exciting. :)

New beginnings.......

A new beginning is getting ready to take place around our house. In a little under two weeks, the girls will be starting new schools. They are super excited. I am excited. But I am very nervous. I haven't asked either one of the girls if they are nervous. I don't want them to start thinking about it if they are not. They don't seem to be nervous. But I wonder. We are all very excited about this change. It's a fresh start and a new journey. While I am grateful for the time they spent at their old school, it was for sure time to change. I had been unhappy with a number of things going on, happening, and the way people are treated. This is not going to be a "bash the old place" because I am not going to do that. Things were different. We are at a different place in our life right now and it just didn't feel like the place for us anymore. I am sad to be leaving our "comfort zone" and starting a new adventure. I'm not too big on big changes and this would be one thing that I get very nervous about. I've always stressed about where the girls should go to school. Was it the right place? Will they like it? Will they get a good education? Will they have friends? The only time I didn't stress about it was deciding on preschool. i knew 100% for sure where they were going. No questions asked. No talking about it needed.
C started kindergarten in a public school. I had wanted a lutheran grade school but we were unsure about paying the tuition, they shelterness, dress codes, etc. We knew we wanted the girls to have some shelter from the crazy world but we also wanted them to be prepared to deal with the real world. Not be so shelter shocked after high school. Well, kindergarten was great but then we made the switch to a lutheran grade school in 1st grade. K started pre-k that same year at the same school. We wanted her to make some friends there before starting kindergarten.
The years go by. I'm involved with volunteering and helping out with things at school. Life is moving on and we are thrown several curve balls. We were on a crazy roller coaster and trying to survive life.
We fast forward until the summer of 2011. C starts asking to switch schools. She was unhappy with a lot of things. K agrees she wants to also. I immediately started to panic. I was ready to switch but had no clue where to send them. The public school district we were in was a no go. I was uncomfortable with the girls going there. So it was decided, they would return for at least one more year while we look into other schools. School starts and the hunt begins. We quickly realized we should look at moving. We were pretty positive we wanted to go to the public schools but needed to be in a different district. In December the search for a new house began. We found a house and moved in March. We were super excited. We love this house!!! And we LOVE the schools the girls will be going to in 2 weeks.
So, here we are......about ready to start a new chapter. I hope I survive this craziness. I'm not sure if I'm really ready for the girls to be in public school. I still want them to stay little and innocent. But I firmly believe they both have a good head on their shoulders and they will be fine. I hope they make lots of new friends, make lots of new memories, learn a lot....but not too much about "life", and I hope we have made the right choice and they are happy. They seem like they are and that's all I want for both of them.
Stay tuned......I'm sure I'll have lots to write about!! :)

Is there any respect?

Wow! Here I sit, ready to blog again. Two days in a row. I forgot how much I enjoy this. I can actually type away whatever I want and not worry about someone stopping me. lol!!
Anyway so today I've been thinking.......shocking I know. But here's the deal, recently (within the last 6 months) I've really taken notice to the different parenting styles. I will never claim to have perfect children or know what's right and what is wrong. But there definitely is a lack of parenting out there these days. I'm all for being friends with your kids but there comes a point when you need to put your parent pants on.
Recently the girls and I were at Target. I'm a firm believer in setting the expectation. {knock on wood} I have never had a problem with either one of my girls throwing a fit, crying, or making a scene at a store. One time when Kayla was around 2, she did get upset about not being able to get a stuffed animal. She did start crying in the store but never started throwing a fit or screaming. She got a stern look and was told to stop crying in the store, she was embarrassing the rest of us. She stopped right away. End of issue. Once we got home, she did get a talking to and I explained to her how it was unacceptable for her to cry about a toy in the store. She was told she does not act this way and I will not put up with it happening ever again. Period. To this day, neither one of my girls have had an issue in a store. Don't get me wring, they ask for things but when they are told no they don't throw a fit or make a scene. That would not be tolerated around here. I normally set the expectation before we go shopping. The girls know what they can get ahead of time and have learned to not ask a million times if they can get something. And I will say, it makes a huge difference. My girls are very good about it......most of the time. ;)
Going back to our recent Target trip.......there was this little girl there shopping with her mom. Just the two of them. The mom was older, maybe mid-40's. This little girl had to be around 6. She was hounding her mom about getting this new Barbie. The mom told her daughter, "We're not going to buy that one today but you can pick out one of these that are a little bit cheaper." Boy did this make the little girl mad. She started stomping her feet and yelling "I said I want this one!" "I want this Barbie not those stupid cheap ones." She's yelling this as she is stomping her feet!!!
OMG!
The mom says "Well, Mommy doesn't want to spend $25 on a Barbie today. These Barbies over here are pretty. You can pick one of them out." With this the little girl throws the Barbie box on the floor and screams "I SAID I WANT THIS ONE! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"
Again, the mom tells the daughter that Barbie was too much money. I'm standing there watching and listening to this in shock. Thinking, if my daughter did this, she would have a black & blue butt, a sore lip, and be missing a lot of toys when we got home.
At this point the daughter picks up the Barbie box and throws it at her mom and yells "If you don't buy this for me, you are the meanest mom ever and I won't like you anymore." Holy sweet Jesus. I could not believe this. I looked at my girls and Kayla is standing there shocked looking at this girl like OMG, you are in trouble.
The mom literally just stands there, "Olivia are we really going to play this game again today?" WAIT!!! WHAT??? This has happened before?? Oh dear Lord lady, get a clue and control your child!!
How do people think it is ok for their child to act like this? Courtney did tell me one day when she was 3 that she thought I was being a "mean mommy" because I wouldn't let her do something. She got a little pop on the month and a talking. NEVER have I ever heard my girls saying anything like that to me. I have NEVER heard they hate me, don't like me, etc. I hear of this type of stuff happening often now. You see it in stores. I'm sure there has been times when my girls have been mad at me about something and probably thought to themselves that I'm mean but it has never came out of their mouths. Nor do I ever want to hear that from them!
I have been told many of times that I am too hard on my girls, I expect too much out of them, I shouldn't expect them to do chores, I put too much responsibility on them. Well, do I? I don't know. I don't think so. I think I have two good girls. Yes they might complain sometimes and I do have to remind them of things but they are kids, pretty normal stuff.
I think it's funny how these people who have accused me of being too hard on my girls have kids that are out of control. There is no structure, no control, no consequences for their actions. I believe children need all of that from day one. As a parent, YOU have to control your child. Now, don't jump down my throat and say kids need to explore and find themselves. Yes, I will agree with that to an extent. But these crazy out of control kids walking around now-a-days is due to parents not having any control!! What happen to kids respecting authority? Respecting their elders? I still address some people as Mr. & Mrs. (whoever) because that is what I did growing up. I knew them as Mr. & Mrs. not on a first name bases. I am guilty of telling the girls friends to call me Mandy or several call me Miss Mandy. I like that. It's a personal choice. Mrs Fritsche is too formal for me and makes me uncomfortable. Why? I don't know. I just don't like it. I feel more relaxed and the kids seem more relaxed. Whether that's true or not, I don't know but it's what I'm comfortable with and it's my choice.
Now, I'm not pointing figures or accusing anyone of "being a bad parent" but the respect or well, actually the lack of respect and attitudes of kids these days.........I'm at a loss for words. I don't understand how a parent thinks it's ok for a child to repeatedly tell their mother or father they don't like them or they hate them or they are the worse (meanest) mom/dad in the world. How is it ok? Everyone is entitled to parent in their own way. I don't agree with things my friends do just as I'm sure there are things I do they don't agree with. And that's ok. Something that works for us may not work for others just as things they do won't work for our family. I guess I just struggle with the no respect side of things. Why are so many parents raising their kids to not respect anyone or anything. Regardless of age, every person whether you are 2 or 92 should respect other people! I don't care if you don't like the other person, they still deserve to be respected as a person.
Well, I guess that's enough of my rant for the day. No certain parenting style is better than another. You have to do what works for your family. Be friends with your kids. Make your home and relationship comfortable enough so your kids are open with you and talk to you. But also be a parent and raise your child(ren) to be respectful. You as a parent will be respected more when you rise a respectable child. :)

~ Until next time, let's all respect this life we've been blessed with.

Freedom of Speech?

So back on the 4th of July I read someone update their status about freedom of speech. Here is what was said "As we celebrate this independence day, a day to celebrate our freedom, I have to wonder. Do we really have the freedoms we think we have? I know I'm opening a can of worms "you people" have "advised" me not to, but damn I'm doing it. I don't care anymore. I'm suppose to have freedom of speech but when I speak my mind, I'm told "that's wrong" or "that's inappropriate" or "you shouldn't say things like that". Wake up people!!!! It's MY opinion!!! Mine. You don't have to agree with me. But that "line I'm not suppose to cross" is being crossed right now. How in the hell is it ok for a school to tell me what I can & can not talk about on MY FB page???!!! Not once have I ever mentioned this schools name, or any teachers, etc. As much as I've wanted to recently, I have not. I have had some respect. But I believe this line they talk about has been crossed by THEM! How dare they try to control MY freedom of speech I'm suppose to have in this beautiful country, the land of the free........" She went on to wish everyone a Happy 4th of July. Her update has had me really thinking over the last several weeks. More so just within the last couple of days.
Everything she said was correct. This freedom of speech has become an issue. We are suppose to be able to speak our mind. However, more often than not when someone speaks up, voices their opinion, defends someone, or partakes in a conversation other people are quickly offended if your opinion is not the same as theirs. I'm so tired of hearing people complain that something or someone offended them. There's times where I want to say, "Stop being so sensitive!!"
I think it boils down to this, people need to stop claiming they are offended because someone doesn't agree with them. We as people need to be more open minded to others. Just because someone doesn't agree with us doesn't mean they are a bad person or they are wrong. They just think differently. And that's ok. There's nothing wrong with that. If we all think alike, life would be pretty boring but just because I think differently than you doesn't mean I'm wrong. Start being respectful of others and stop placing judgement. Stop trying to control others.
As the FB posting mentioned, if I, you, we......whoever is ranting on FB and is not name dropping then regardless of what they are saying, let it be. You don't have to agree, you don't have to comment. Just let it be. I will admit, I am guilty of being frustrated with people who don't agree with me or think the same way I do. But this is something I personally have worked to change the last two years. I have become more open minded, less judgemental, more willing to accept other peoples thoughts and opinions. We also need to be more forgiving. This is something I have struggled with and hope one day to be better at.
So, this posting has kinda been all over the place. Bottom line - let's stop trying to take people's freedom of speech away just because we don't agree with them or like their opinion. Be open minded and respect people. I teach my girls - You don't have to like everyone or be friends with every person you meet in life but you have to respect them as a person. Everyone deserves to be respected.......well, unless you are a crazy psycho killer. :)